Chapter 7: (Toy)
(Friday, February 14, 2014)
Ericka shares our enthusiasm of cannabis, and has become a bit of a hobbyist, herself. She recently started experimenting with it in cooking, so we always bring her stashes of flower and hash so she can make us edible versions of her cakes and baked goods that she creates as a side hustle. Of course, she can’t sell weed brownies yet in our state. But by the time it’s legalized, she’ll already have a perfected formula. Since I had to come over with some black hash she requested, we took some time to talk wedding details. Well, more specifically, who Germaine had invited to our engagement party that was scheduled for the following week.
When I arrived, she was already busy in the kitchen pouring some freshly made canna-butter over a pot covered with cheesecloth. After straining the excess, she painstakingly separated it into portions to be used in future goodies.
“Hey, girl! Tell Germaine thanks a lot for the hash. It’s so much easier to use than making canna-butter. Ain’t nobody got time for all these steps.”
She put her project to the side, and wiped her hands off on a towel she picked up from the counter. I handed over the package Germaine sent.
“You need me to do anything?” I asked, looking around in amazement at her culinary laboratory.
“Nah, I’m good,” she said, waving me off. “Pour you a drink and sit down. I just put my last cake in the oven.”
I grabbed a bottle of wine from inside her refrigerator door and poured a generous amount inside the glass she had waiting for me on the counter. The smells emanating from the oven were heavenly. I closed my eyes, taking deep gulps as if I could take a bite out of the air.
“Oh my God, it smells so good in here! What kind are these?”
She smiled brightly.
“Thanks. They’re pecan pie bundts. I started doing them as thank-you gifts for Desmond to give to the clients at the end of the job. They got so popular, people started telling their friends and requesting them to give to their clients. Business is booming.”
“I see! This could be pretty lucrative for you. Have you given any thoughts about doing this as more than a side hustle?” I asked.
She shrugged. “It’s crossed my mind. But right now, I’m too busy helping Desmond juggle all these projects. Not to mention your wedding. Speaking of which, you got everything squared away for the engagement party next week?”
I nodded between sips of wine. “Yeah, that was the easy part. Germaine agreed to take care of everything for that. All I have to do is show up.” I could feel beads of perspiration form on my forehead thinking about it. I wasn’t looking forward to being the center of the social event of the year.
Sensing my rising anxiety, Ericka comforted me in her own gruff manner. “Oh, bitch, calm down. The party hasn’t even started yet. You’ll be fine. Gee will be right there with you. And me, Nat, and Renee will be there to have your back. And Doll’s coming, too, right?”
I nodded again, feeling my stress level drop a few points.
“I’ll bring a personal stash of edibles just for us, in case you need something. And if anything does happen to go down, we’ll just air the joint out. That’s your house. And you know how we do.”
I giggled a little picturing Ericka ‘airing out’ my house of anyone who disrespected the home that Germaine and I shared by wielding a cane.
“You’re the most trash-talking person disabled person I ever seen,” I laughed.
“Whatever. I can back it up, too. This thing gives me an extra reach y’all don’t have.” She swung the cane at as though she was swinging on an attacker. “Anyway, who’s coming? I know Germaine invited some celebrities. I’ve got to make sure my outfit is on point.”
“I’m not sure if they’ll be any there. It’s mostly his family and some friends from college and some guys he was close to when he played ball in Italy. Other than that, I think a couple of his mentees in his image consulting business and probably some business associates.”
Ericka looked disappointed.
“You mean to tell me you’ve been with this man all these years, and you haven’t met any celebrities?”
I rolled my eyes and poured myself another glass of wine.
“I mean, most of them have been sports people. Like Hubert Davis, UNC’s assistant basketball coach and LeVelle Moton, who coaches Central.”
I scratched my head and thought some more.
“I met Petey Pablo one time. But who doesn’t know Petey Pablo? He’s from around here somewhere.”
Ericka’s eyes got big.
“Bitch, I don’t know Petey Pablo! Is he cool? He seems like somebody I could smoke with.”
“Yeah, he’s nice. I don’t know about the weed, though. It never came up. Let’s see. “Play” Martin and Phonte from Little Brother. You got anything ready that I can sample? It smells too good in here.”
“You know Phonte Coleman?” Ericka was on her way to cut me a piece of her double fudge chocolate cake but stopped in her tracks when I mentioned Phonte. I meant to tell her about our brief meeting, but I forgot.
I took another sip of wine.
“No. I went with Germaine to a reception downtown Raleigh a few months ago. Just a quick introduction. He was polite, though.”
Ericka continued to stare dumbly.
“Is he coming to your party?”
“I doubt it. Can I have some cake, please?”
“Shoot,” she said, snapping back to reality and cutting my cake. “You don’t know nothing. Do you know who’s coming to the wedding?”
She slid me a slice of cake, which I dove into almost headfirst.
“You guys, of course. Doll. That’s it.”
“Toy, even if we all brought a plus-one, that’s barely ten people. You don’t have anyone else you want to invite?”
I shook my head.
“Your mom? Is she even allowed?”
I shot her a nasty look.
“Right. Sorry. But she’s still your mom, so I had to ask. What the hell is her deal, anyway? I mean, what kind of mom treats their kid like that?” Her face clouded over.
“She’s just mean and bitter and it’s easier for her to blame me for her life not turning out the way she wanted than to take responsibility for her own shit. And other than the normal familial obligation I have to her, she’s not involved in my life. She doesn’t even know I have a fiancée.”
Ericka did a double take.
“You do realize that so-called familial obligation you have to her is not normal, right? And she really doesn’t know you’re getting married?”
“Girl, for all she knows, I sleep in my truck in the Food Lion parking lot up the street from her house and wait for her to call me. That’s just it. She doesn’t give a damn about me except where it concerns what I can do for her.”
“So, how do you plan to handle things with her as far as Germaine goes? You do a lot of running up and down the road for her, and Doll is right there in the same town. You can’t carry that into your marriage. Don’t sabotage your happiness for some misguided attempt at loyalty. She’s never been a mom to you. You don’t owe her your servitude.”
“I know. Germaine has been really good about it mostly, but it still causes issues between us. What do you think I should do?”
Ericka gave me a look of disgust.
“What the hell, Toy? Really? You really need guidance on this? You don't even need a shrink for this one. Your mom refused to take care of you growing up and treated you like shit. Now you’ve met a good guy who loves you and wants to take care of you. And you blowing him off to drive almost two hours to the person who uses you and talks down to you just because she’s blood?” She shook her head. “I’m sorry but fuck her! You have spent your entire life in misery at her expense. Don’t you think you deserve to be happy?”
I shrugged, indifferently. She opened her mouth to say something else but stopped and shook her head ‘no.’. Instead, she maneuvered her way to the oven and propped her cane against the countertop before opening the oven door and sticking a toothpick into the center of her cake. She closed the door back gently and raised back up to face me.
“Let’s switch gears. You know we are glad to stand up for you as family because you are. But wouldn’t it be nice to have at least one of your parents at your wedding?”
I thought about that for a moment. I didn’t know anything of my father, and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to invite someone as equally crazy as my mother or crazier into my space. I was having enough trouble with her as it was. I had to admit, I did like the idea of having a dad. But how good of a dude could he possibly be if he had a relationship with my mother? And after the disastrous home life with her, I wasn’t sure I even wanted to dig that skeleton out of the closet.
Ericka said, “Well, I think finding him would be good for you. At the very least, it would give you some closure. Your mom is a hot ass mess, but somehow, you’ve managed without her. What if your dad turns out to be different?”
“Yeah, what if he turns out to be a different kind of crazy?” I answered, warily.
“But what if he’s a good dude? I mean, wouldn’t you want to know? What do you have to lose?” she asked.
“Time,” I answered. “I don’t have enough time in my day to get everything done as it is. And my mother finds a way to steal whatever is left. Now, you want me to fill it looking for a daddy that might be just as crazy as she is?”
“Ok, I get it,” Ericka soothed. “So let me try. I’ll help with the guest list. Just consider tracking down your father as one of the guest list duties. I’ll take care of everything. I’ll even go screen him ahead of time. If he turns out to be crazy, I’ll just say, ‘Wrong Number’ and get out of dodge. But if he turns out to be cool, wouldn’t it be nice to finally have a real parent in your life?”
I still wasn’t convinced. “I don’t know. I never thought about it.”
“Well, will you at least let me try and find him for you? And I may not be able to locate him, anyway. But it’s worth a shot, at least.”
After a few minutes of deliberation, I relented. “Okay, I’ll go along with this crazy scheme you’ve got going on, but please tell him to stay where he is if he’s got a whole lot of drama with him like Mother. I don’t have any more patience for crazy ass old people. I’m liable to snap off and catch a charge.”
She held up her hand. “I promise.”
I picked up my cake and glass of wine and headed out back to my favorite spot in Ericka’s house, the screened-in porch. There was a nice ocean breeze stirring and it was a cozy spot to entertain. We spent a lot of time out there playing cards, watching the kids play out on the beach, or just drinking, smoking, and chilling. Tomika was with her grandparents for the holiday weekend, so Ericka and I had planned a girls’ night since Germaine, and I had done Valentine’s the night before.
It hadn’t gotten dark yet, so I stood at the edge of the porch watching the waves crash into the shore and then go out again. We were all in such good places in our lives right now. And thinking about what Ericka had said, I had overcome the odds in spite of not having much of a mother. Yet, I couldn’t be happy. Instead, I was an anxious, self-conscious overthinker. Not to mention a whole other set of issues from that other thing. Still, it was a cold, but pleasant evening and I was standing in my friend’s gorgeous home by the beach. And hell, I had one of my own. “Cheers to me,” I said aloud, hoisting my drink in the air.
Ericka came in with her own glass and joined me.
“You good?” she asked.
“Yeah, just admiring the view,” I said, still staring straight ahead. It was then I noticed two people coming up the walkway of the beach entrance Ericka and Desmond shared. “Is that Desmond? And who is that with him?” I asked, craning my neck forward to get a better look.
Ericka folded her arms and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, that’s him and Carolyn. The new ‘bae.’”
I cut her a side-eye. “What? How long this been going on?”
She pulled a chair up close and sat down. “I don’t know. A few months? They’ve been going strong for a little while, now.”
They looked the part of a cute couple enjoying a romantic Valentine’s evening stroll on the beach. Holding hands and talking. She seemed to be hanging on to his every word.
“What’s she like?” I asked, still watching them approach the house.
“She’s okay, I guess. Comes across a little fake to me. But he seems to like her. She can’t stand me though.” She smirked and took a drink.
I was disappointed. I just knew that he and Ericka would’ve hooked up by now. It had been over five years. And they clearly cared about each other.
“Can’t stand you? Come on, Ericka. Don’t you think you might be over exaggerating a little bit?”
She used her cane as leverage to pull herself back into a standing position. “Watch this.” She took another swig from her glass. “Hey, yall!” She smiled broadly and waved like she was bringing in a 747 aircraft.
I watched with interest as Desmond returned her smile, took the new chick by the hand and led her over to us. Her frown gave it away that she was less than thrilled to have to talk to us. Even Desmond looked a little uncomfortable.
“What’s up, ladies! Happy Valentine’s Day,” he said. He was looking handsome in some dark blue sweats. She had on a hoodie that appeared to be Desmond’s from the size, and her weave was a little windblown. But she wasn’t bad looking. She probably looked better when she smiled. He opened the door to the porch and held it open for Carolyn to step inside. He followed behind and came over and gave me a hug.
“Happy Valentine’s Day!” we yelled in unison.
“What are you doing here, Toy? Shouldn’t you be with your fiancée today?” he inquired.
“We had our romantic date yesterday. We took the RV to the track and hung out there.”
Desmond was impressed. “Nice! One day, I’m gonna get me one of those. Oh, forgive my manners. Toy, this is Carolyn. Carolyn, this is my friend, Toy. She’s engaged to Germaine Jacobs. And you already know Ericka.”
“’Sup, Carolyn,” Ericka said all dry and disinterested. I shot her a look.
Carolyn gave Ericka a halfhearted wave and mumbled, “Hey, Ericka,’ but must have recognized Germaine’s name because she instantly lit up when it came to me. “Oh, it’s nice to meet you, Toy! Desmond didn’t tell me he was friends with celebrity royalty!”
I was a little taken aback that she was so rude to Ericka but then turned on the charm so quickly when it came to me. I looked around behind me like maybe she was talking to someone else. “Well, I don’t know about royalty…” I began. But she cut me off.
“You guys are all over the blogs and social media! And now to find out that not only does my man know you, but you live right next door! This is amazing! We must hang out since we’re neighbors!”
As she continued to chatter, I glanced over at Desmond, who was trying unsuccessfully to interject to prevent her from shoving the remaining part of her foot in her mouth. He finally gave up and began looking down at the porch floor he was aimlessly kicking with his shoe, his hands shoved in his pockets. While Ericka stood beside me, wearing an expression that was a cross between amusement and extreme irritation.
Carolyn kept talking. “I’ve been telling Desmond it’s time for him to introduce me to his friends, and you guys have been right next door the entire time…I heard about your engagement party…Is that the one you invited me to, Dez?...I would love for the four of us to get together sometime for a game night or something at the house. Dez, you don’t mind if I put something together, do you, bae? And do you guys have the same floor plan as Desmond’s? I’d love to see it if you don’t mind giving me a little tour…”
She just kept going on and on, and I felt powerless to stop her. I was too embarrassed to interrupt. And Desmond, bless his heart, had tapped out after the first few sentences. But the glint in Ericka’s eyes showed that she was not only capable of shutting her down, but excited about doing it. Finally, Carolyn’s rambling came to an end. She turned to Desmond and began running her hands across his chest. I wondered whose benefit was the show for because it was clearly over the top.
“Desmond, we were on our way back in, anyway. Can we pop back by Toy and Germaine’s after we get this sand off our feet?”
Desmond cleared his throat. “Ahem. Sweetie, I’ve been trying to explain, but you wouldn’t give me a chance.”
He touched her hand on his chest as if to soften the blow. She finally stopped talking long enough to realize she had been the only one speaking. She looked at each of our faces, puzzled, as if she didn’t get the joke.
She turned her attention back to me. “A chance to what?” she wanted to know. “I’m sorry if I came on too strong. Sometimes I get ahead of myself. If tonight is not good for you…”
Desmond shook his head. “No honey. You don’t understand.”
She was getting agitated. “Understand what?”
Men are so stupid sometimes, I thought to myself. Why did you let this girl find out like this?
Ericka, who had been standing silently watching the entire exchange go down like a tennis match, was unable to contain herself any longer. She raises her wineglass toward Desmond and Carolyn and with a huge grin, she yells, “Carolyn, this is MY shit! Toy and Germaine don’t live here. I do!” Then she downs her glass for dramatic effect.
I was mortified. But not more than Carolyn, who stood dumbfounded looking at Ericka, while Desmond was still looking for whatever he lost on the floorboards of the porch.
Satisfied, Ericka turns on her cane to go back into the kitchen. On her way out, she turned back to us and asked Carolyn, “You want a glass or wine? Y’all welcome to stay. I’ll be happy to give you a tour, Carolyn.”
Carolyn, too stupefied to speak, remained mute.
“No?” Ericka taunted. “Okay, but don’t say I didn’t offer.”
Carolyn found her voice once Ericka was out of earshot. “Why didn’t you tell me she lived right next door to you?” she hissed.
Since these fools had already sent my anxiety through the roof, I made a quick exit of my own. “Umm, I’m going to see if Ericka needs help in the kitchen,” I stammered. “Desmond, I’ll tell Germaine you said ‘hi.’ And Carolyn, it was so nice to meet you. I hope to see you at the party.”
Desmond mumbled a quick good-bye as he ushered Carolyn back outside and up the back steps of his home and into his house.
I began to kick myself as soon as they were out the door. Stupid! Why did you invite her to your party? You didn’t even like her!
I heaved a heavy sigh and went to join Ericka in the kitchen. I wanted to yell at her for putting me in such an awkward position. But the moment we lay eyes on each other, we burst into fits of uncontrollable laughter. When we finally calmed down, I asked her, “Why you do that man like that? She’s gonna put him through hell tonight.”
She shrugged as she refilled our glasses. “He put me in charge of his office and his company. I don’t have any business with his bitches.”
Ericka had a foul mouth. But she also had a way with words. I loved that she had no problem saying things that I only dreamed of in my head.
I agreed with her initial assessment of Carolyn. “I see what you mean, though. She is a little fake. And she’s not really that nice. She’s an opportunist. And you’re right. She can’t stand you. And like a fool I told her I hoped to see her at the party.”
Ericka stopped laughing and looked like I was in trouble like her kid. “You what?”
“It just slipped out,” I whined, trying to defend my actions. “She was totally blindsided. I felt bad for her.”
Ericka pursed her lips. “Oh, she’ll be there. That bitch was coming anyway, whether you invited her or not.”
“How you figure that?”
“Didn’t you just say she was an opportunist? She mad as hell with him now. But trust me, she’ll be over it by this weekend. She’s gonna use Desmond to try and get put on.”
I hadn’t thought about it like that. “I don’t want anyone at my party like that. Maybe I should have Germaine ask him not to bring her.”
Ericka leaned on the countertop grinning mischievously. “No, let her come. She’s gonna be miserable all over again when she sees me there, too.”
We burst into laughter again.
© 2024, Evelyn Outlaw
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